I feel overwhelmed

July 14, 2021
  • Weight: 150.00 kg
  • Height: 68 cm
  • Age: 61

I've always have pain, have DDD, multiple surgeries. Neck x2 both wrists due to carpal tunnel, rotator cuff repair, breast cancer with bilateral mastectomy and reconstruction after that and 5 years of meds I have had no cancer. Back surgery x 3. Right total knee replacement. Both wrists hurting again, back pain remains secondary to Sacroiliac Joint Dysfunction. Neck in pain again due to herniated disk, central stenosis and foraminal stenosis, spondylosis. I dread surgery as I know the pain I'lll be in afterwards. I'm in pain management have been on oxycodone 10/325 4 x day and gabapentin 800 mg 4 x day since 2011. But after surgery because of the new acute pain of surgery I will require pain meds in addition to what I'm on routinely for a week or 2 post op. I have been in pain of one type or another since before 2011 but didn't seek help until it got more than I could bear. I just don't see an end in sight and I have tried everything, including a spinal cord stimulator. My pain management Dr has told me that I am maxed out on pain meds so I guess I'm doomed to being in pain for the rest of my life. I'm already on antidepressants (paxil, due to total abdominal hysterectomy it serves 2 purposes, helps greatly with hot flashes and depression). I take vistaril 50-100 my as needed for anxiety/sleep.. my pain is taking turns, one site always seem to scream louder than the rest, when I finally have surgery on that one and recover another one takes over and starts screaming at me. I'm tired of the battles, I'm exhausted from dealing with it, it's like torture, like water dripping on my forehead, it NEVER ends, it's enough to drive me insane. I am totally overwhelmed.

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